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<3 lefty

December 31st, 2007

im feeling emotional.im feeling sad.I dont know whats going on in my life.i feel an emptiness surrounding me.I think about my self.im a good person.i love.i am loveable.i give.if you want to get I can give you everything.but it seems that nobody appreciates me.am i naive? am i bad person? i dont understand any of you anymore. my friends are there.i know who they are. i love them. but still i want a reason to exist a reason to be happy.im so messed up.i wanted to leave from this country i wanted to go as far away as possible and the last moment something happens and everything is reversed. i get hurt. again and again and again and again. i give my whole soul and i get nothing.i am here to give but nobody is here to give back. why nobody appreciates me? is fate playing games with me? am i worthless? i am happy person (at least thats what u can guess when u meet me) but deep down;it hurts. hurts that i dont have anyone to share my feelings.what I HAVE to give. nobody.emptiness.chaos. i want to feel good with my self .i want to feel happy for once in my life.and i want the happiness to last. they told me live for the moment. they told me enjoy every moment because it happened not because it ended.how can i do that when everything ends so sudden. i’m so messed up emotionally that i dont think anybody can realize how incomplete and empty i feel. they tell me to wait.others tell me i have to be there to open the door when it knocks.i’m confused.i want a new start.i want to leave my past behind but it keeps knocking on my door. i want to let go.i want to be proud for me i want to love unconditionally. i feel so used. miserable. i’m a negative person and this negativeness is killing me deep inside. chaos.confusion.disorder.disturbance. let me be

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2 Responses to “<3 lefty”

  1. Nuno Marques Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 17:18

    I understand you 100%, actually sometimes I feel the same… don’t try to find answer at all the times, just live…:|

  2. ray williamson Says:
    January 13th, 2008 at 17:14

    your young, you seem to expect so much from other’s, maybe they are just like you. people deal in different ways, its good to give, you cant help it, be happy with it.

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